One of the hallmarks of real equality is that I can see, depicted in images used for marketing, for social commentary, in fashion, in sport, on billboards, “people who look like me, doing the things that I do.” Every minority wants this — Latinos, people of Color, Native Peoples, Women, Trans People, Little People, Fat People, Gay People, etc. etc. etc — everyone. If we lived in a just society, our uniqueness would be echoed all around us.
We’re nowhere near that yet.
Here’s a picture. It could be me and my husband (it’s not, but it could be). We do this every single day. My thanks to the man who first posted this to his tumblr somewhere.
Two bearded daddies who love each other
The word you’re looking for after “Awwwww…” is “sweet.”
All we have between us is words. These words create people in my head. They’re not you. It’s the people in my head that I know. Unfortunately for our ability to communicate, you are more than that, much more. The trouble is that I don’t have a way to get to the more that is really you.
Besides that, there’s a “me” in there, too, that my words make. And I see the “me” that your words make–and sometimes it’s a false me, and other times I don’t like that me. Worse yet that “me” is sometimes a thing you made up out of your personal pain and really has nothing at all to do with me.
Yes, and I see that the same goes in reverse.
These things amount to a hall of mirrors. The real is lost amid the sea of its reflections.
And we jokingly call that “theory of mind.”
Fortunately, I still have myself left to talk to, or I’d be utterly alone.